Red Flags: Tip to Identify a Romance Scam
- Patsy R
- Sep 6
- 2 min read
From the Advocating For Your website (https://advocatingforu.com/)
They Reach Out First
A victim is approached on a platform first by:
A friend request,
Message request
Request from the scammer to add them as a friend.
Moving the Conversation
The scammer will often times try and move the conversation to an encrypted site such as Hangouts or WhatsApp. An encrypted message site makes it difficult for law enforcement to retrieve conversations once deleted, making it more difficult to prove the scam.
Asking for Money/Gift Card
Scammers are in it for the money! Nothing else! If anyone you never met in person asks you for money, or to send gift cards, this is a scam! NEVER send money or gift cards to ANYONE online!
Asks You to Open a Bank Account/Bitcoin Account
Scammers may request the victim to open a bank account for them, or ask for their personal information to open a bank or Bitcoin account. But why?
Collect personal information to open not one, but many accounts
Additional information to blackmail the victim
To have the victim “move” money ie. Money Laundering (a Federal Offense)
Terms of Endearment
Terms of endearment early on in a conversation is very common with scammers. “Hello Dear”, “My Queen”, “Hi beautiful”, are just a few of their terms. They will also profess their love to you very early on in the relationship, often times within days.
Working From a Remote Location
By claiming to work outside of the country (ex. in the Military, on an Oil Rig, Physician on a humanitarian mission) their victim is in, gives ample excuses to:
Never be able to meet in person
Have poor phone/video connection
Conveniently difficult to prove why money is needed (hospital bills, attorney fees, bail money)
Poor Grammar
A scammers first language is often times not the same as their victims’, making their incorrect grammar noticeable to the victim. Scammers tend to also say phrases that are not known in the Country they claim to be from. For example they often start their introduction as “Am John” or “Am John by name” instead of ” My name is John”.
No Family/Has a Child
A spouse being killed in an accident, or by Cancer are common parts of a scammers story. There will often times be a “child” involved. Scammers use a child as an excuse to need money for an illness resulting in medical expenses, boarding school, nanny fees etc.
Sending You a Package
Scammers will claim to send the victim a package filled with personal expensive belongings, gems, gold, and or money. There is NEVER a package and there are a few reasons they do this:
To gather your personal information (name, address) for possible blackmailing purposes
Get the victim to pay a “deliver fee” to a fraudulent shipping service (money actually goes to the scammer).
Excuse to have the victim pay for the “package” to “get out of customs”. There is no package, which means no customs and the money goes to the scammer.












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